NaNoWriMo

That's what I'm talking about.

National November Writing Month.

You can check it out for yourself here. I am by no means a "writer". But I decided that I need to do something that challenges myself. Hence, writing 50,000 words in a month. The ultimate goal is to write a novel. I have no such aspirations. My ultimate goal is write about myself, my life, my thoughts, my goals, etc. Basically this is going to be a big, therapeutic, hard, enlightening, challenging activity. Starting right here with this blog. Well, most of it probably won't be written in my blog. I intend to get down and dirty and deeper than I have ever thought. Kind of like an extended diary. Probably NOT blog material. So Microsoft Word will become my new pal, and you guys can have some updates along the way.

I realize that this is going to be amazingly hard with a baby. But the effort is the most important part of a challenge. So let's do this.

But first, an update.

Emerson is officially crawling and pulling up. She now knows how to let herself down without completely bonking her head on whatever hard objects may be nearby. Apparently this whole diaper thing is pretty awesome. She has some cushion to land on. There's not really a problem with this.... unless I have to walk away for a minute and... oh wait. I can never walk away for a minute anymore. If I walk away, I have about 30 seconds before she realizes I am gone and tries to follow, or dives into something that I told her not to do earlier, i.e. pull ALL of the books off the second and/or bottom row on the bookshelf. She just loves when they fall and FWAT! on the ground. I suppose this is a good thing. I mean, she likes to knock down books right? That will definitely translate into her reading them, right??? I can only hope. I've read* that if babies see their parents reading, they are much more likely to want to read themselves. Joe and I read quite often, so she's probably going to LOVE it. We'll see. Babies are weird little creatures. They don't exactly go by your intended life plan for their lives.

*I now have a complex. I read. Often. I like to be an informed person. If a doctor or someone else smart says something they believe to be true, I almost always research it for myself to see if their opinion is the safest, most helpful. My parents do not. They believe the doctor. Always. So when I say "I read this and..." around them, I always get a look. Or a smirk. Or an eye-roll. This is a bit of a touchy subject for us. We're working on it.

Completely off subject, but: Let me just say Joe's laptop was NOT well designed aesthetically. Okay, maybe I'm using that word wrong but this darn laptop has little tabs that stick up right where your wrists rest as your typing. I have little painful indentions in my arm. Who the heck didn't test drive the laptop for comfort before they marketed and sold this thing? OR, is the blame with the consumer (i.e. JOE), who did not go to a store and test the laptop himself? My husband purchases almost everything online. No one spoke of this design flaw in reviews. I feel it is my civic duty to go to all review boards and post that this joker is a pain. Literally. Unfortunately, I don't know the name nor brand of the laptop... Okay now I know it's a Lenovo from looking at the front. That's all I have. Apparently all owners of this laptop felt the same way and were just like me. Saying "eh... I'm sure SOMEONE will review it." Now I feel guilty. Eh.

I'm already a little weary from writing right now. I think it's because I'm looking around at all of the stuff that I have to do. Staying at home is hard. You can't go to work and come home and chill. The home is your job. Chore-wise, I'm looking at mainly laundry. There's a few dishes to be done. The big job is Emerson's room. Yes, I know. I'm a terrible person who STILL has not cleaned out her daughter's room. To be clear, it was MOSTLY clean. Until Joe needed a transcript for an application, and unloaded the file cabinets onto the desk. And left them there. Bless him, he's the worst cleaner upper EVER. His idea of "cleaning up" is to hide. Or my personal favorite, to make an even bigger mess. Our conversations almost always go something like this:

Him: "Ashley, I cleaned out the closet."

Me: "Awesome. But why is all of this stuff on the floor?"

Him:"Oh. That needs to be put up somewhere since it doesn't go in the closet."

Me:"So... You made more of mess than when you started."

Him:"Um, the closet's clean?"

Me: "argh."

So at some point, I need to get in there and get on it. For now, laundry seems safe.

With that last sentence, I'm at 854 words. 854 out of 50,000. I think I've got this. Maybe.

Rants & Raves

In the spirit of the Free Times Rants & Raves, I'll be posting my own personal opinions of random things in my life on the blog every now and then, starting today:

Rave:

Dear Publix, like your motto, shopping with you truly is a pleasure! The general atmosphere and experience of shopping at Publix is always super awesome. The stores are always clean, the produce is always fresh, the employees are always very friendly and helpful. They actually seem to like their job, and when you like your job, it is reflected in your attitude. They also help you carry your groceries to your car without you having to ask. No tips, please.

I know what you're thinking, Publix is the expensive supermarket. Well, I have come to the conclusion that the expensive supermarket is nothing but a rumor. No, they don't have an "Most Valued Shopper Ever" card, BUT they accept competitors coupons, and have amazing BOGO sales all of the time.

All of those things I already knew and loved about Publix, but in an effort to find even greater deals, I logged on to their website and checked out their circular for the week. Get this, you can click on items in the circular that you want to buy and it will create a shopping list for you. Not only will it make the list, it organizes it by what section of the supermarket it is in! This may not throw you into a state of giddiness like it did me, but I am the person who already writes down my shopping list by what section each item is in. Love it!! So all of these things combined just makes me happy to go grocery shopping. I love grocery shopping when I go to a store that puts as much effort into it's business as Publix does.

Rant:

Dear Pedestrians, I would like to introduce you to the crosswalk. The crosswalk was designed so that you can safely navigate the city on foot, without having the misfortune of being hit by a large moving vehicle. They have distinct lines for you to walk between and even (gasp) a Light system that tells you when to go, when to hurry up, and when not to walk because you will, in fact, be hit.

What is UP with people not using the crosswalk??? I understand if it's not a busy street, you just need to pop across and the next crosswalk is 3 blocks away. But c'mon people. If I am driving down Elmwood, a SIX lane road, I really would prefer that you not weave in and out of cars, or make me brake for you to casually stroll through traffic when you could have waited just another second for the light to change. Also, do NOT get offended when I hit the automatic lock on my car doors when you are walking beside my car at a stop light. The cross walk is 6 feet away, and by ignoring that fact and still walking through stopped cars at a light, you're being creepy. Think about it.

Some pics of the munchkin

We're reaching out and grabbing everything!

So pretty much all of her hair has fallen out except for this little tuft.

At Jessica & Greg's wedding- my mom in the background

Emmy's moving out

Well, not exactly. She's moving out of our room and into her own space. We finally got her crib delivered. It's beautiful! ...but still in pieces. I've decided not to put it together until we clear out that back room a little bit. I have decided that I just need to organize organize organize! Unfortunately for me, organizing takes time. I have plenty of time, but it's scattered throughout the day. With a job like this, I'd like to hop in there and get it all done at once. When I have to stop every couple of minutes, I get frustrated and abandon the project. I'm truly a procrastinator at heart. I don't understand why! I LOVE getting things done. The feeling when you have accomplished something is so awesome. So what is my deal with not completing things?

Joe interviews tomorrow with Palmetto Health. The pay is not what we hoped, but it would be full time hours, which he doesn't get right now. September 21st can't get here fast enough! We are so ready to find out about the Air Force, but it seems like forever. Pray that God will ease our hearts and minds as we try and start a new chapter of our lives. I'm not sure what we're going to do if he doesn't get in, but I'm sure that God has a plan in place! Joe is feeling quite discouraged by not finding a job, so he definitely needs a pick-me-up. Maybe this job with Palmetto Health will be it!

Emerson is getting so big! She's rolling over back and forth now. Her foot has found her mouth. She's probably teething. LOTS of drool and LOTS of chewing. Joe's not too keen on the drooling. I'm used to it now. I get drooled on all day long.

We are so excited to go to Oklahoma soon to see Baby Carson be born. Well, excited and scared. Joe's sister Elizabeth is due Sept 15th. I'm going to attempt to help her through labor like she did with me. She was so amazing and supportive throughout my labor and ultimately the birth. I'm not sure I can do the same for her. I need to read some more of my Dr. Bradley books! She's planning on giving birth naturally, so I'll try and help her with that. This is her third baby. She gave birth naturally with her first. She was induced with her second child, and she says labor was so much harder and longer because of that. Babies come when they are ready! I'm not saying that induced labor is always a bad thing. It just happened to be for Elizabeth. Sometimes, it's necessary for the health of mommy and baby.

Well off to bed for now. Everyone, including Zeus, is asleep except for me! Scripture for the evening from The Message.. Proverbs 31:10-31. I pray that I can be a Proverbs 31 woman one day!!!

^10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

Lazy evening, time to contrbute

I'll finally join in on the blogging. Last evening we had a small get-together to say farewell to our friend Nick as a Carolina student and resident. He will be attending grad school in Maryland just outside of DC to study English, translated to 'I'm undecided but I like literature and I like to write sci-fi'. Nick will do very well there because he has immense aptitude and he knows how to utilize it. His only hurtle will be to humble himself enough to make sure he can soak up every bit of knowledge from those around him while he's there. He is looking forward to getting out of the South for a little while and enjoying a fresh perspective from a more Northern culture. I guess D.C. is definitely the place for that.

I don't mean to post all about Nick instead of myself, but he is a dear and close friend and now he's off to get that next degree. The evening was great fun, Justin cooked some amazing ribs that were covered with brown sugar and honey and Cayenne pepper and other spices along with mashed potatoes and green beans. Justin, Daniel, and I stayed late to play some Halo 3 which was fun too, but now I'm tired and hence the title, "Lazy evening".

I've watched Emmy tonight while Ashley worked. As usual, I took Emmy to nurse while Ash was on dinner break, and then I came home and put her to bed. After that I decided to finish the last leg of my mini-vacation to the beach by enjoying the cigar I thought I deserved for some reason or another and so I smoked it a few minutes ago to relax outside with Zeus while I watched the baby monitor. It was also enjoyable after getting the familar news that I was not hired after an interview, this time with Wachovia... a Wells Fargo Company :)

Here is a photo summary of the past two evenings. Peace to our readers.

So that bikini body is going to be harder than I thought...

Whew! I just tried P90X, which is this ultra intense workout. You have probably seen the infomercials on TV. It really does work great-- My sister in law Elizabeth lost a ton of weight using it. BUT she has something I don't have. Willpower. Where the heck do you get willpower? I can't just grab it at the store. Just the stretching alone got me all winded. Maybe when Joe gets home, I'll get him to do it with me. Then it will become sort of a competition to see who can keep up. That's probably what I need.

I'm pretty comfortable with my body as a whole. There are bits and pieces I'd like to work on, definitely. I've always had a flat tummy. Having a baby definitely changes that! So I'd like my belly to be a little flatter, and to shave some junk off of my hips. A muffin top is no joke! I don't know where it all came from, because I don't weigh that much more than I used to, it all must have shifted around during childbirth. To get back to pre-baby weight, I need to lose about 8lbs. I gained almost 35 with the pregnancy. To all of those pregnant moms out there who are concerned about getting back to the weight that they were: BREASTFEED!! I have only worked out a handful of times since I had Emerson, and I definitely haven't been eating differently, so I have to attribute it to breastfeeding. It burns about 300 calories a day. Pretty sweet.

Emerson and I went to the pool today. My parents were having their Sunday school class (ages 7-10) there for a swim party, and everyone had a blast. I remember being their age, swimming at the pool. They played "Shark". It was funny, being the older person on the side of the pool. I always thought adults were being silly when they got nervous about people jumping in on top of others, etc, but I found myself getting nervous when I watched them! I had to push it aside.. I already think I'm becoming my mother in a lot of aspects. I don't want nervousness to be one of them! Watching the kids play, I decided that we're going to teach Emerson to swim as soon as possible. Mostly because it's safer, knowing to swim early, just in case of an accident.

Time for a shower! After swimming and my mini-workout, I feel yucky. Plus, maybe that'll wake me up. I've been feeling sleepy lately. It's probably the lack of exercise, hence the workout that I attempted today. Hopefully it works!

Our house...

In the middle of the street...or however the song goes. Joe named our wireless connection "Our House" so every time my laptop connects to the internet, it says "Connected to Ourhouse" sooo of course like every other time I here something that reminds me of a song, I get that particular verse stuck in my head. So I'm singing it. Right this minute.
SPEAKING of our house. I am proud to say I'm turning this little place into a home after all. I neglected it for quite awhile because I knew we would be out of here soon. But since it's taken longer than we thought for Joe to find a full time job, we're here for a little longer than expected. I am finally okay with that! I really struggle sometimes with desiring material goods, like a big house and a yard, and an extra couple bedrooms, a nicer car, nicer furniture, etc etc. But thankfully God has really helped me see that those are all WANTS and not needs. Eventually, we'll probably need a bigger house, but until then, we're doing just fine.

I've been getting crafty trying to spice the place up. For those of you who don't know, we live in a one bedroom place. It's shotgun style meaning you can walk the entire house from the front to the back.


like so.
So room number 1 used to be our living room, 2: our dining room, 3 is the kitchen, 4 was our bedroom, 5: the hallway, 6: bathroom.
Right before Emmy was born, I got into that "nesting" frenzy and had to have a change. So we moved into the living room, combined living and dining room into room 2, and left the back bedroom (4) for Joe's office and/or dog's room. Since Emmy is starting to get quite big for sweet little bassinet, I've decided it's time for her to move on into her own room. Joe is not too keen on the idea. He loves having her nearby while she's asleep. I'm currently working on him, and he's getting used to the idea. We never got a crib when she was born, so we're looking for a great deal on one right now. Joe wants it to be good solid wood. We're a fan of the sleigh bed-ish design. My requirement is that it turns into a full size bed, so that when there are no more babies, we won't have to get rid of it, since our kids will be able to use it indefinitely! Sooo scouring Craigslist and yard sales is now the new hobby. I have the rest of her furniture, so I don't have to worry about that. I'm working on decorations for the room right now. I can't wait to post pics!! I am so thankful that my sister-in-law Karie has encouraged me to be creative and if I want some sort of decoration, I should try and make it. It's been a blast! Pictures from that soon. Until then,... Joe is desperately trying to hold on to his "office". He has this HUGE desk, which is really great. It's really nice and it holds lots of things.. but it's taking over half of the room! Am I being silly or materialistic, wanting the baby to have the WHOLE room? I certainly don't think so. I'll keep y'all up to date with the office vs. baby room showdown.

Something that has been on my heart recently. As a Christian, we are supposed to love all people, all the time. I want to challenge you right now to examine your life. Are you loving everyone like you should? I have struggled with this many times... when that cashier is unfriendly, or when someone says something mean just to tear you down. There are so many instances in daily life where you could just break down and feel malice, but I encourage you to turn those angry feelings into something more productive. Love that person like crazy! Be kind to them. Show them God's love for them through your actions.

My sweet little girl is asleep right now next to me. She wakes up every now and then to stick those beloved fingers back into her mouth. I tried to get her attached to the paci instead of those fingers, but she will have none of it! Her hair is falling out quite rapidly now. I really hope it stay slightly red. I love being able to see me in her, if only in her hair. I'm sure as she gets older, she'll have more defined characteristics, some of which will be mine, but until then, the hair is all I have. =)

Enough blogging for now. This is quite long due to the lack of internet for the past week and a half or so.

Bible verse for the day:
'So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.'
Galatians 6:9ish The Message




my sweet little girl-- 4th of July!

Apparently I'm a bit crunchy.

I would like to preface this blog by saying that anything stated in it is simply my opinion. I created a blog not that people would read it necessarily, but so that I could have an outlet to express what I was feeling about certain topics. That being said, let's begin.

I'm now a big advocate of natural childbirth. But this isn't like a religious decision. I don't think that people who did it another way were wrong. This was just the best method for me. In making the decision to give birth without the use of medication, I simply weighed the pros and cons, and to me, the cons outweighed the pros when it came to getting an epidural. Most women think that they couldn't possibly do it, but you are stronger than you think! I am the world's biggest baby about pain and being sick, and I am empowered to know that I can make it through what seems like the world's worst pain. I hate that I'm afraid to say more about the subject, for fear of being lashed out at by readers. I don't think posting on my blog is pushing it in peoples faces. Again, this was *what was best for ME*. If anyone ever wanted to talk about it and what they thought or even how they could explore this process, I would absolutely discuss it with them.

Next, I just worked a shift at B&N last night, and PARENTS, we need to discuss something. How in the world do you expect your children to learn to clean up after themselves if you yourself do not clean up your own mess? I speak, in particular, about parents who gather piles of magazines or books and then leave them in the seating area after they are ready to leave. Most argue that it is the employee's job to clean up after customers. Incorrect. It is my job to help the customer find the correct book that they are looking for or to offer book suggestions. You make my job SO much harder if you leave piles and piles for us to have to go through and organize and shelve. I would understand if you're looking through the books and gather a few and then are suddenly called away by an emergency, but we have several families that show up about once a week and proceed to destroy the children's section.
A word on the children's section: The bookstore is NOT a babysitter! Do not leave your child alone in the kid's section while you browse the entire store, even grab yourself a drink. Not only is it NOT safe since no one is watching them, but the responsibility falls on us to make sure they don't climb a stack of books and harm themselves, etc.
Since working retail, I always try and put myself into the worker's shoes, wherever I am, to try and see their point of view, so I encourage you to think it through before you bring your child somewhere and let them run around all crazy like. =) I know when Emerson is up and moving and I'm having to chase her around, it may be a different story, but until then, WATCH your children! I have a family who takes every single stuffed animal off of the shelves and lines them up in a line across the floor of the kid's section. People are supposed to purchase these animals, and yet parents let their children throw, pull, chew on, and handle these animals until a lot are not sell-able. Just a little rant that I had to get off of my chest.

Today, we are going to visit Karie, Joe's sister and the rest of the family at Joe's grandparents. Karie is going to take pictures of Emerson and Savanna together which should be SO cute! I'll post some pics when I get the chance. Ahh, it's so nice having an ultra-talented photographer as a sister-in-law!

Peace.

Slightly underwhelmed.

Blaaaaaaaa.

That's how I feel right now, like I could go to sleep, or I could get up and start cleaning. I need to clean,... badly.

Joe's mom, Lynda, came in on Sunday, along with Savannah (Beth's daughter) and James Jr. (Lynda's stepson). It's been good seeing them but I definitely need to ask you guys to pray for Lynda. She pulled a weed out of the ground before she left and it turned out to be poison ivy. Her face is swollen up like a balloon and almost every day she has been here, she has woken up with her eye swollen shut. The doctor gave her some medicine to help calm the blisters down, but it makes her feel lethargic and she is unable to drive while on it. She doesn't get to come out here too often, and so it is quite unfortunate that she feels so badly while seeing Emmy and her parents. Please pray that she will be well enough to drive when she needs to leave on Sunday.

Emmy is starting to be a talker! Of course, there aren't any words coming out yet, but she certainly is babbling. She gets stuck on a sound like "oohhh" and just keeps saying it over and over again. Quite funny to us, probably slightly annoying to the random person in the restaurant next to us... But it's amazing to me how different life is now, and how I feel about it! I was probably that person being annoyed in a restaurant by a babbling baby, but now I know that it's a part of her learning to talk, and it's so awesome to be able to see that growth in my understanding of life!

So Joe went to his MEPS at Fort Jackson last week. For those who don't know, that is where you get your hardcore physical to see if you can make it into the military. He passed with flying colors (of course), but he said he was definitely one of the oldest guys there. He is taking the AFOQT (Air Force Officer's Qualifying Test) next week, turning in his letters of recommendation, and then we wait until September to see if he gets in Officer School. I wish that we could know sooner, but unfortunately that is when the board meets to decide. He's still trying to look for a full time job here with benefits so that we can be financially sound, but no luck so far. I've taken to applying for him if I see a job posting that looks like something he can do. Darn economy! But I know that we will be taken care of and the Lord won't let us starve. We have a wonderful support system of family that would help us out if we needed and that is SUCH a blessing!! Please pray for Joe, as he is getting quite discouraged about finding a job. Pray that his spirits are lifted and for the knowledge that there is no need to worry. This verse from the book of Matthew always comes to me when I see someone drowning in unnecessary worry:

" ²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^{b]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[b]}?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Love it! And now I don't know how to get my old font back:-) Oh well.

This was my catch-up blog to remind myself that I need to keep writing. I've been thinking a lot about natural childbirth and medicine and I really need to unload on that soon. I have to get to work right now. I'm working one day a week still which makes my job so much more likeable! I'll write more later tonight. Byeee.

not looking at the camera... but here's a recent family shot!

Emmy's new hobby

Ewwww...

So last night, around 3 in the morning, Joe suddenly hops up in bed and starts looking around.  I asked him what the heck he was doing and he said he felt something crawling on his neck.  We have quite a few little spiders in our house (mostly on our windowsills for some reason), so I told him that was probably it.  I get out of bed to go to the bathroom, and Joe calls me back and says "Not a spider!" and points down to my side of the bed, where a HUGE roach was walking.  AGGGGHHHH!  How disgusting is that!?!?  The bed is supposed to be a sacred, clean, and safe place.  How dare that nasty bug ruin that?!  Needless to say, Joe promptly killed it. I had to mentally psych myself into getting into bed again, without thinking something was going to crawl on me any second.  I just have to think that it was a freak accident that somehow he ended up in our bed.  Gross gross gross!  Needless to say, no more eating in bed from now on! Unfortunately, I just remembered that I made that rule, and I had already finished breakfast...in bed. 

In other less disgusting news, Emmy is quite fond of her hand.  She has a new favorite hobby of sticking her middle and ring fingers in her mouth and sucking quite loudly.  You can hear her smacking across the room.  It's quite cute, but I hope that it doesn't develop into a bad habit.  I think she's just excited that she can reach her hand to her mouth.  It keeps her busy for hours!  

I'm not sure what we're going to do once she gets too big for her bassinet.  I can't put her at the opposite end of the house, that's too far away and we'd have to keep the monitor on the entire night.  Plus, all of Joe's junk is in that room.  If we got rid of the love seat and that darned recliner, then she could fit.  But I wanted her to have a true baby room, one that we can decorate!  I guess we'll have to wait until we move into our own place... whenever that happens! 

Pray for us as we decide how to deal with Joe's job situation.  He's starting another slew of applications as we speak, so hopefully something will pan out.  

He interviewed for a police position out in Oklahoma.  He'll probably be offered the job, but honestly, I don't want to move there.  It would be wonderful being near Joe's family out there, but the town doesn't seem appealing, among other things.  I love the atmosphere in Columbia, and the kind of people.  Joe says, and I agree, that at some point we need to branch out, have a little adventure.  I just don't think Lawton, OK is the place for adventure.  Asheville would be an adventure... and it's not 1000 miles away!  If we did end up out there, I would probably live there on a month to month basis, coming home for long periods of time.  I know that going into with a bad attitude is making it worse, but I don't think that's where we're supposed to be.  I was thinking of our grandparents, how all of them are here.  They're not going to be around for too much longer, and we're going to leave them?  Joe's grandparents depend on him a lot of times to fix things, and all of their grandkids are out of town except for us, and we're considering leaving them?  That makes me so sad!      ... I don't want to move. 

If you haven't noticed, my writing style is pretty much stream of consciousness.  It may not make much sense sometimes, or go off in areas that you're not sure I should have branched into, but blogging for me is sort of therapeutic.  It gives me a chance to put my thoughts down in a sort of concrete, legitimate way.  I'm happy I started up again=)  I'm going to hop in the shower before the baby officially wakes up.  She's still content, sucking on that hand with her eyes closed.  Then, I need to walk the dog, and then it's lunchtime with Mom & Matt!  

Lazy blog day...

I did this thing on facebook, so I'll post it on here to.. and maybe comment on it at the bottom.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People. [don't tell their names]

10. I'm scared to death I'm going to do this wrong, but I know that God will be guiding me... Thanks for that reminder, every day.
9. Back away from the opposite sex. You are absolutely no good for them right now.
8. When it's good, it's so so good. I live for those moments.
7. Stop. Look around. Breathe. Seriously.
6. Are you absolutely sure this is it? Because I want you to be happy, not resigned.
5. I'm so stinking happy and proud for you. I would throw you a party... awkward turtle.
4. Get it together! She won't stick around if you don't.
3. I'm so super thankful for you. I wish that we were closer
2.I think that you are a coward and you hurt too many people by this. 
1. Actually, I'm kind of happy with my life and how we are, thank you.

Nine things about myself.

9. I'm secretly thrilled that my daughter has red hair.
8. I really like cleaning... just not the getting started.
7. I'm ridiculously lazy. 
6. My love language is definitely touch. If you want me to feel better, hug me.
5. I love love LOVE laughing with my husband. 
4. Cuddling= awesomeness
3. I'm happy I finally have sisters.
2. I like when people smile at something I say.
1. I'm actually quite fond of our little bitty house.

Eight ways to win my heart.

8. Clean up after yourself.
7. Kiss my forehead.
6. Support my decisions.
5. Make me laugh.
4. Watch movies with me and commentate=)
3. Tell me what you really think, don't fib.
2. Listen.
1. Sing to me or with me.


Seven things that cross my mind a lot.

7. Emerson
6. Job for Joe
5. Reminding myself that we'll be okay
4. The dog needs walked.
3. I need to clean this house.
2. what ifs
1. Joe-deezy

Six things I do before I fall asleep

6. Make sure the baby is asleep.
5. Nag my husband into coming to bed at the same time as me.
4. Walk the dog.
3. Brush my teeth.
2. Wash my face.
1. Kiss Ems goodnight.


Five people who mean a lot. (in no order whatsoever)

5. Joe
4. Emerson
3. Mom & Dad (they count as one)
2. My brother most def.
1. My friends who offer help and mean it.

Four things you're wearing right now.

4. Newsboy cap
3. Gamecock shorts
2. Huge earrings
1. Hot pink tank

Three songs that you listen to often.

3. The entire Rent soundtrack.
2. The entire Across the Universe soundtrack.
1. Most of the Once soundtrack.

Two things you want to do before you die.

2. Know that God will be cool with me. 
1. Teach my kids the right thing. 

One confession.
1. I'm scared to death of trying something completely brand new, but I think it will make me a better person.

I like doing those things.  Oddly enough, it helps me get to know myself a little better.  It makes you think about who you truly are and what you think.  It's so easy to float through life, living without passion, very complacently.  But if everyone suddenly stopped, and took a good hard look at their lives, they would probably find that there is something bothering them, something to reckon with.  What do you think?  Look at yourself.  What do you see? 

Sleepy baby, sleepier mommy

I know she's tired!  I just know it!  The sleepy eyes and lethargic demeanor... but apparently Emerson does not realize that she's ready for bed.  Every time I lay her down, she gets very upset.  She's been fed, rocked, burped, and wrapped.  Now what?  I thought this wasn't supposed to happen until she was a wee bit older.  I suppose I'm just spoiled by her usually conking out right away.  All right, she now has the pacifier... I feel as if I should give some sort of excuse for that.  Should I?  

Paci vs. No Paci

Paci, Binky,...Apparently, there's this huge debate over whether a pacifier is okay for a child to have. Of course, there's my mom's argument: "You used one, and you turned out fine."  Of course I did.  But what if... could a pacifier possibly have caused my need of braces?  It's been written that they can cause crooked teeth.  So, easy solution there: just take it away before her teeth come in.  Some articles say that using a pacifier can interfere with breastfeeding because of nipple confusion.  Since I'm still using a nipple shield and it is the same shape as the paci, I'm not having any trouble.  If I start to wean her off of the shield, then we may have latch issues.  Until then, I'm not convinced a pacifier is a negative thing.  It's not as if I shove it in her mouth every time she makes a noise, like some parents do.  I just give it to her at times like this, when she needs some comfort to go to sleep.  I think that's better than nursing her to sleep, which would be a terrible habit to break later on.  So that's that.  I am okay with the paci.

On a nursing note... 

I'm not one to plug a particular brand usually, but this information is vital!  For you nursing moms out there, forget using any other nursing pads other than Lansinoh Disposable Nursing Pads.  Awhile back, I purchased a large box of Lansinoh brand and Johnson & Johnson disposable nursing pads just to see which one I liked better.  Absolutely no comparison.  I started with Lansinoh and never had any problems with leaks.  I finished off the box, so I started using Johnson & Johnson.  I have woken up every morning covered in milk!  When comparing the 2 pads, J&J looks as if it would be much more absorbent because of it's thickness.  Not true- I go through them much more quickly.  From now on, I will be purchasing Lansinoh.  The only benefit of J&J is that the shape is great.  They come out of the box rounded and ready to use.  Lansinoh is folded in half in the packaging so unless you have on a padded bra, you can usually see the fold through your clothes.  Small concession for a great product.  

Success with the sleeping baby! She actually spit the paci out before she fell asleep, so I guess that small comfort from sucking was all she needed.  If there's one thing I've definitely learned, it's "sleep when baby sleeps!"  Good night=)

Starting out

So Joe's been gone for 2 days... This is the first time I've been all alone!  It's not so bad, I have an incredible support system with my family and friends. So if I need help, I definitely have many people to ask!

Emerson has been a super amazing baby while he's gone.  Right now she's sleeping through the nights, which as any parent knows, is an amazing feeling!  Apparently I shouldn't get too used to it though, because as soon as she hits a growth spurt, she'll want to eat more frequently, therefore, wake up much more frequently.  I'm actually okay with that.  Since I'm at home with her, an odd sleep schedule comes with that.  It certainly has been an adjustment knowing that everything in the house is my responsibility. But I feel like I'm learning... however long it takes.  

I'm going to have to go back to work part time so that we can maintain insurance until Joe gets a job that has benefits.  Right now I can't imagine leaving my little one to do that, but I'm sure when it gets here, it will be a breeze.  My boss has been wonderful.  She's making the schedule to where I only have to work 2 days a week, 5 hours at a time.  That will fly by!  (I think...)  

This is a short blog today, I have to hop in the shower, and try to make it to church.  I plan on starting to blog more often in the future about life with Emmy, how she's growing up, etc... Stick around!

Here's a video for Joe we made this morning: